I don’t think adding more fire will get all the anger out

THINGS I AM MAD ABOUT:

  • I have so much fucking chemistry to do and I can’t understand any of it.
  • I’ve been avoiding talking to my director about how I’m missing a tech week rehearsal to go to a concert shhh I’m not telling her THAT PART.
  • Northeastern waitlisted me. I didn’t want to go anyway but what the fuck. Who the fuck do you think you are to make me feel like I’m disposable. You’re the disposable one.
  • I haven’t even told /some/people/ about getting into/getting rejected by college. I was going to when I found out, but then I didn’t and now I don’t feel like it’s that important again.
  • I’m sick, I lost my voice, I feel like I’m dying.
  • How can you break your phone so easily
  • I’M TOO SICK TO HAVE PLANS
  • I can’t concentrate on anything because sick sick sick sick siiiiiick
  • MY HAIR IS TOO LONG
  • I haven’t showered in longer than I want to admit or even remember
  • I actually feel disgusting
  • I’m really worried about not getting into schools
  • I will have another admissions decision today to a school I don’t care about very much but I still care because yesterday when Northeastern waitlisted me I cried
  • I JUST WANT TO FEEL BETTER SO I CAN DO THINGS
  • I MISS DOING THINGS
  • I DON’T LIKE STASIS
  • I keep having to repeat myself because my voice is so fucked up right now
  • I should not have worn contacts today/ ever
  • Fuck me
  • “My maiden name, which I dropped like it was hot, because I hate my family”
  • Isn’t it funny how I can hate my family and love my family
  • I really need to write my novel
  • I need time to talk to people for GOD’S SAKE
  • GOD
  • AHHHHHHHHHH
  • AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • If I could sweat or fight or fuck whatever sickness is in me right now I would
  • I want to be in a room full of steam
  • I have to go outside and it’s gonna be cold
  • I’m really hot in this sweater
  • I can hardly fucking speak
  • And people expect me!! To speak to them!!!!
  • The fuck?
  • I got into UMass Amherst but it’s in the middle of nowhere
  • I’m so poor
  • I applied to Not Your Average Joe’s as a waitress and I got a rejection email yesterday, like how many qualifications do I need to fucking serve food to people?? GOD.
  • Fine, I don’t want you anyway.
  • FINE
  • Today, my dad once again did this thing where he left for school without me and drove my brother first because apparently that’s a fun thing to do, I don’t know, also he’s a control freak who was just mad that I didn’t have on the right jacket
  • You know how sometimes people do that thing where you know they see you peripherally but they won’t turn to you for some reason?
  • I am gonna be okay. I need to take things as they come. Just forget it.

~Kasia

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